Trydydd Sylfaen
by Ellarose C
Summary: Alternate ending to Chapter 17 of "Baffled King/Idiot Hero", where they go find that room they were talking about. softcore USUK.


{A/N: A bit of an intro! So I wrote this _years _ago (literally: did you know I've been writing for the Baffled King/Idiot Hero 'verse since March of 2010? That's_ two and a half years of one AU_) as an alternate ending to one of the chapters in the first installment, but I never posted it here, unlike that other alternate ending y'all all love so much, because a) it's shorter than "Scrabble Shift" and b) it's much more dependent on its source material than that. But I was goofing off and flipping through my fic doc folder and thought, why the fuck not?

So here it is, my alternate ending to Chapter 17 of "The Baffled King and The Idiot Hero", aka that chapter where they make out under a table in a bar and don't remember it in the morning. They still don't remember it this time, but they do go find that room. ;)

Cheers, kids.

PS: Yes, there is Welsh in this one. No, don't ask me what it means. I transliterated it and then forgot it. Sorry.}

* * *

"Room it is, then." He sat back so I could get up, and I pushed myself up, wobbling a bit, following him to a standing position. He grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me back with a smirk that my mind labeled 'completely dead sexy'. I followed his lead with a giddy smile, completely deaf to the catcalls from behind us as we fell through the first door we found. (I think it might've been the girls' room.)

He pushed me back against the door, fumbling with the deadbolt while he picked back up where we'd left off on the floor outside, sticking his tongue in my mouth while pulling me forward by my collar. My arms went around his waist as he finally figured out the deadbolt and snapped it closed, then flipped us to the side so it was me pressing him into the peeling wallpaper. I had to smile, and he shivered all along me. I let one of my hands slide from his back down over his ass to as far down his leg I could reach without bending over, tugging on his jeans and his thigh and he got the picture, lifting his leg to wrap around me and my back. I groaned into him as he sucked on my tongue, which felt weird and really really good. He'd somehow forced his hands down the collar of my shirt, hot hands on hot skin.

"Fuck, Arthur," I breathed when he let my mouth go and started kissing all the other skin he could reach. "When did you get so hot?"

"Around the time we broke out the scotch, I believe," he mumbled into my neck. I laughed, and would've kept on laughing if he hadn't bitten my ear.

"Ow! Mother- _mmm_," I trailed off into a hum as he stopped biting and started sucking on my earlobe. That felt a lot better than his teeth in my cartilage, or anything else he'd done so far. A wave of tingle flowed up my torso, settling somewhere in between my heart and my stomach.

I'm pretty sure that's the point where I started to melt.

Somehow without me really noticing, we had started grinding against each other. By the time I realized this, the leg not sliding slowly lower over my ass, dragging my magically unbuttoned jeans with it, had hooked around my ankle and made me step so close my toes hit the wall. We'd gone back to real kissing, and he was poking and prodding at the exit holes of my shirt. Oh, was he trying to get it off? I could help with that.

I pulled my arms from between him and the wall to take it off myself, and he started sliding down a little. He scrambled for purchase against the wall and the air between us, nails hurting in my neck, before he let out a little "oh, right" and unwrapped his left leg from around me and set it on the floor. I laughed as he growled, but I ignored that from him, lifting my shirt up by the hem to take it off. His fingers instantly started checking out my stomach, tickling, it tickled; I started giggling and I couldn't stop, arms tangled in my shirt over my head. He scratched faint lines up and down my sides, and I writhed away, turning to jelly and struggling to stay on my feet and almost suffocating in my shirt. He just followed my squirming, then looped his fingers into my belt loops and holding my still. Something wet touched my chest, and he was kissing just to the side of my heartbeat. Before I could think about it too long, though, he pulled back and slid his hands back up my sides again, slowly but without sharp fingertips, continuing up my trapped arms, shoving my shirt away and off and away, letting it fall to the floor. I shivered.

He smiled at me. "You cold, love?" I nodded, and he rubbed his hands along my goosebumped arms. "_Nid ar guyfer hir_," he murmured, looking up at me with those weird glowing eyes, and he was officially Sexy As Hell.

I spread my hands out under his shirt, where they'd somehow found their way back, and held him close as I bent down to kiss him again, watching as his eyes slid closed and he let me have control. It was nice, although it was kinda weird touching someone else's teeth with my tongue. We both put a leg between each other's, and my forehead started to gather sweat.

Only when my lungs felt fit to burst did I pull away from his mouth, panting onto his face and staring blankly at his wet mouth (and his wet area around his mouth). He twisted his head to the side, pressing his cheek to the flowers on the wallpaper, grabbing onto my wrists and forcing my hands lower, diving straight into his pants. I sucked in a breath and followed what he wanted, pressing my open mouth to his exposed neck, rolling my palms down his backside. He gasped loudly and let out a small noise, shivering.

"Oh, fuck me," he breathed, latching on to any part of me he could grip and tilting his head all the way back.

"_What_?" I said into his jaw, freezing as it sunk in slowly. He wanted to have- he wanted to have sex? _What?_

Well, if there's one thing you can't call Artie, it's subtle. He dragged a hand down my chest, stomach, lower-

"_HolyfuckingChrist_," I hissed, pressing my face into the side of his, unable to keep my teeth from gripping in his skin. He moaned, hand tightening in my pants and _Jesus_ in heaven.

I backed away from his face to look him in his hazy pretty glowy really green eyes. "Art, I'm not so sure about this – _hail Mary _ – this whole sex thing," I forced out, trying to ignore the handjob enough to string together words. Complete words that made sense and thoughts.

He smiled, nose crinkling too much. "Well that's just adorable." He leaned forward and rested his chin on my shoulder and whispered, "Little Alfred's a virgin." I swallowed, hands tightening reflexively, and he moaned directly into my ear. "_Fi like morynion_," he breathed huskily, lips almost Frenching the shell of my ear.

"Mother of _God_, you're hot," I said without thinking, and he smiled and licked the side of my face up to my hairline.

He took his hand out of my pants, which was basically sacrilegious at this point, to unbutton and loosen his own pants and pull himself up and wrap his legs around me so my hands, which were still full of assflesh, were forced lower. I felt a dip and a change of texture that made him bite his lip, then reach forward and bite mine. He gripped the sides of my face and my shiner flared back into excruciatingly painful attention. I howled, muffled by his mouth, and twitched my head away from his hands, squinting and frowning as I tried to fight off the wave of pain and nausea.

A moment's hesitation, then feather light touches ghosted over and around my bruise. "_Ymthieuraf_," he said softly.

"Nah – it's okay," I grunted, leaning against him to press the side of my face onto the cool wall behind him. He threaded his fingers through my hair.

"Should I kiss it and make it better?" he offered, guiding me away from the wall and back to him gently. I nodded slightly, eyes still closed.

Unlike his vicious attacks against my mouth and my neck and my everything else, Arthur barely brushed his lips over my sore eye socket, cupping my face carefully and tilting it down for easier access.

"There. Better, _anwyl_?" he asked. I nodded, finally opening my eyes. He was smiling and he was close, his eyes and bangs and eyebrows all I could see. His hair and forehead glistened with the sweat I felt all over me; I leaned up and licked the salt collecting in his eyebrows away. His eyelashes fluttered against my chin.

We were just standing there, me resting against his forehead and him sighing into my collarbone when there was a rap at the door. "Excuse me, but I can't allow you to have sex in my women's restroom," the wavery voice of the bar owner called through the door.

"If they _are_, tell them I will slice them into fucking ribbons and feed them to the _deer_," Tali-girl growled angrily, quieter than Raivis's only because of distance from the door. We froze in each other's arms.

"Natalia, don't you think that's a bit harsh?" the bar owner asked her timidly. Angry stomps made their way to the door, then a _thunk_ and a tiny dot of silver metal poked through the wood. She'd stabbed the door with her pocketknife.

"_No_."

I jumped back from Artie, clutching the sink for balance and looking around frantically for my shirt with trying to button up my pants again at the same time. I had just pulled on my shirt again when Arthur was suddenly pressed against my front and holding my face softly.

"We'll finish this later," he said quietly, giving me a small kiss. I smiled at him, then my stomach lurched and I dove for the toilet in the corner. He sighed and knelt next to me, running his hands through my damp hair and keeping it from the line of fire.

"What am I going to do with you," he mumbled. I groaned into the bowl.


End file.
